Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

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Director: Mandie Fletcher

Stars: Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, Julia Swahala

An honest review from a massive fan

You might not think it to look at me but Ab Fab is my life. I’ve been watching Absolutely Fabulous ever since I can remember. In fact I can remember quite vividly being five or six years old and completely howling at all the episodes my Mum used to watch, which is pretty bad parenting to be honest with all the drug taking and general naughtiness in every episode. However I’m so thankful that my mother let me watch it because I think it really shaped my life in terms of comedy. Me and my sister have to watch Absolutely Fabulous in order to get through life. I don’t think there’s any show on TV that feels fresher and more hilarious the more you watch it apart from Ab Fab.

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The film has to be my most anticipated film ever. Here are a few points just to give you an idea of how excited I was for Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie: I’m traveling Australia at the moment so I stayed up until 3am to watch the Leicester Square premiere on a live stream, I had at least four separate dreams about watching the film (one of them was a dream within a dream), I refreshed the Ab Fab Facebook and Twitter page obsessively every day to get every scrap of news, I watched every single interview with Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley, I refused to watch the trailer in fear of it spoiling all the best bits and I entered every competition I could find to win tickets to the premiere in Sydney. I also won those tickets and spent about $600 to fly to Sydney in order to attend that premiere.

This is a show which I know every single word to and still laugh every time. This is far more than a show to me, it’s a religion, it’s a drug which I constantly crave. Attending that premiere was one of the greatest nights of my life. The whole experience was completely overwhelming. I’d just been within touching distance of two of my biggest idols in life (Jen and Jo if you hadn’t have guessed) and then the film played. It was all too much to take in. Of course it was a total blast but it went by in a flash! I genuinely thought that it was halfway through but then the credits rolled and I was dumbfounded. I saw the film again a couple of days later just so I could properly assess it.

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Obviously if you’ve read all of that jargon above then you’ll know that this review is going to be horrendously biased. I will say though that if you’ve never seen an episode of Absolutely Fabulous then don’t start with the film because it is made for the fans. Even if you’re a causal fan, the chances are that you won’t like the film. Jennifer definitely wrote this film for the hardcore fans and I take my hat off to her for that. I’m sure that the studio would’ve pressured her to try and make the film accessible for everyone, but she hasn’t done that. It’s a continuation of the series and it’s all the better for it. Ab Fab has always moved forward so why should it stop for newcomers now?

I watched the film in a theatre jam-packed with fans as big as me and there were massive laughs and cheers at almost every minute. I’ve got to be honest and say that I wasn’t entirely sure if it would work as a film. With all the celebrity cameos being announced it looked as though it could slide into the Mrs Brown’s Boys D’movie route. Also Jennifer has never written a film before and film screenplays are very different to the telly. However, I can safely say that Absolutely Fabulous does completely work on the big screen. The cameos aren’t as forced as I had feared, in fact many celebs end up playing actual roles instead of just themselves.

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The film opens in the only way it could with Patsy and Eddy rocking up to a fashion show, getting blathered and stumbling back the next morning to straight-laced Saffy in a state that would make Lindsay Lohan blush. It’s a stellar (or should I say Stella?) opening which basically sums up why we love Ab Fab in five minutes. From then on we’re straight into an onslaught of fan favourite characters including: Mother, Bo, Marshal, Claudia Bing and Lulu all wrapped up in a hysterical, albeit fairly loose, plot about Edina accidentally knocking Kate Moss into the Thames.

It has to be said that Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley are absolutely on fire in their roles as the fabulous friends. A lot of reviewers seem shocked that they’re still so good after 25 years but they’ve never really stopped playing these characters. People look at it as a show from the 90’s and whilst the last full series aired in 2003, there have been specials leading all the way up to 2012 so all of the cast involved remain as fresh as ever. Joanna Lumley in particular shines in this film though. She’s 70 years old and still has such impeccable comic timing and chews up every scene she’s in despite not eating since 1973.

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I was surprised at the amount of references and in-jokes included in the film for the fans but all of them were a delight. There are plenty of fresh jokes fired at you as well. The laughs come thick and fast, barely giving you time to breathe for 90 minutes! The film also moves at quite a nice pace in the first half, setting itself up for a proper comic caper but it never quite lives up to that promise. The film’s marketed as “Patsy and Eddy on the run!” But without spoiling anything, this doesn’t really happen. At first I was a little disappointed at the lack of momentum in the second half but on a second viewing I realised that a big chase movie really wouldn’t be in the spirit of Ab Fab. It’s always been more about sitting back with a bottle of bolly and this is what the film sticks to.

It might not be as strong as say, Alpha Papa, in terms of sitcom to movie adaptations but as a comedy it does the most important part perfectly, making us laugh. The effects might be a little shoddy and Mandie Fletcher’s directing cockeyed at times, but the film never fails to deliver laughs. It also doesn’t lose focus too much so there’s always the perfect balance between plot drive and comedy. How wonderful it is too to have a film made by and starring older women! Everyone knows that the film industry is an ageist and sexist one run predominantly by men, so it’s lovely to see a film dominated by talented females doing so well at the box office.

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Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie isn’t supposed to be taken seriously. It isn’t going to sweep the oscars and nor is it trying to. Jennifer Saunders has created a consistently hilarious romp for the fans which allows you to switch off and be happy. Most reviewers call the film over-stretched but if anything I found it a little rushed and under developed! There are plenty of plot points and new characters left unexplored to their full potential but hopefully all will be resolved in the inevitable sequel. It’s not the best film ever made but there are lines in this film which I’ll be using for the rest of my life. Just like the TV series, it’s endlessly re-watchable and, as Patsy so perfectly puts it when asked by Lola why she’s stuck around for so long, “It’s bloody good fun!” And isn’t that the reason why us fans have been sticking around for so long too? For hardcore fans of the show, Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie is a comedy classic.

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Don’t Breathe (2016)

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Director: Fede Alvarez

Stars: Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette

You won’t be able to!

Being a horror fanatic, I’d been in the know about Don’t Breathe for months before the trailer had even come out. It had premiered at some weird festival and started generating a lot of hype. “The best horror movie in decades!” You know that sort of thing which people seem to say about every good horror movie coming out. So I’d been excited about it and I was also a fan of Fede Alvarez’s fun Evil Dead remake. I avoided any trailers and tried to put aside the general hype after being disappointed with Green Room earlier in the year and just went in with the mindset that this was going to be an above average horror film. I needn’t have worried because Don’t Breathe totally lives up to the hype.

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Don’t Breathe is exactly the kind of horror film I love. Intense, thrilling and relentless. It’s set mainly in one location and follows three young tea leafs robbing an elderly blind man. Fede does a great job of crucially making us care for these criminals, or at least one of them. Jane Levy is the girl you’ll be rooting for here and we’re given a lovely bit of context which outlines her desperate situation so that our sympathies lie with her. It takes just enough time to build the characters and the plot so that we care about the rest of the film.

Once the kids step into the little old house the film really begins and I was left holding my breath until the very end. At first I was a little concerned as I couldn’t see how the filmmakers could spread robbing a blind OAP into a 90 minute film. I mean, he’s blind, how hard can it blummin’ be? It turns out very. This isn’t just any old blind man, this is an ex soldier with ears like a bat who’s still equipped with the skills to beat any grown man to a pulp. He’s a character who you’ll go away remembering thanks to Stephen Lang’s dominant presence as well as the character’s dark backstory which is best left unrevealed.

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Don’t Breathe spends most of its running time squeezing every last bit of suspense it can. It reminded me a bit of the French horror, Inside, although of course far less extreme. Just in the sense that it’s an absolute roller coaster despite being confined to one location and a few characters. It’s a really intense film and at times I was left covering my mouth just in case I made a noise which the blind man could hear. All of the tension comes from Fede Alvarez’s superb directing skills though. We’re given long and still takes instead of quick shaky edits so you can see what’s happening on screen. The use of silence is particularly key in creating tension though and the effect is used to its absolute best here.

Whilst the film isn’t the most original, it still feels fresh and unpredictable thanks to the superb high level of quality across all departments. The directing is masterful, the writing is taut, the music is effective, the acting is good for the most part, although the young Tom Cruise lookalike was a little wooden at times. The film also offers some deliciously dark ideas which I’ve never seen explored before in a horror film. So whilst we’ve seen this kind of scenario before (Livid has exactly the same premise) Don’t Breathe still proves itself to be one of the very best of its kind.

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To say any more about Don’t Breathe would be to spoil the nail-biting twists and turns in store. All you need to know is that it’s a relentlessly intense experience which never gives you a chance to breathe. It looks like Fede will have a long and promising career in horror, as with only two films under his belt, he has proven that he has the skills to create some of the best horror films that Hollywood has to offer. And let’s just take a moment to appreciate all the fantastic horror films 2016 has had to offer. In any other year, Don’t Breathe would’ve been my number one but with films like: The Conjuring 2, 10 Cloverfield Lane, The Witch (my personal favourite of the year so far) and the upcoming Blair Witch, we’ve been treated to a surge of seriously high quality horror. Don’t Breathe can still sit proudly among them though. It’s a taut, adrenaline-fuelled ride which I can’t imagine anyone not enjoying.

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Grotesque (2009)

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Director: Kôji Shiraishi

Stars: Kotoha Hiroyama, Hiroaki Kawatsure, Shave igeo Ôsako

Worst. First date. Ever

It’s funny because if Grotesque wasn’t banned in the UK then I don’t think I would have bothered watching it. No one would probably have even heard of Grotesque if the BBFC slapped an 18 certificate on it, but because they refused it has turned into something of a cult hit. It’s a curiosity piece for connoisseurs of carnage but those looking to get truly disturbed are likely to be disappointed. I don’t quite understand the reasons for the ban as Grotesque shows us nothing that we haven’t seen before. In fact, it’s so over-the-top in its ideas and execution that it’s more likely to illicit laughs from viewers more than anything.

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If you look at Kôji Shiraishi’s earlier found footage horror, Noroi: The Curse then you’ll find an expertly executed chiller that relies on atmosphere and imagery to produce genuine scares. Grotesque is pretty much the opposite to Noroi. I can’t believe it’s made by the same director as Noroi which is quite possibly the scariest film I have ever experienced. The only thing scary about Grotesque is how bad it is. To sum it up, it’s two people in a room getting tortured by a psychopathic doctor. They were just walking back from their first date and a crazy man bops them on the head and they have to sexually excite him with their will to survive.

It’s a terribly thin plot which only the thick and the psychotic would appreciate. Somehow though it isn’t as boring as it sounds. It’s only 70 minutes long but even still, a film set in one room with only three characters could easily drag, but Grotesque zips along quite merrily. This is the only redeeming quality of the film, it’s never boring. But maybe that’s because I was just waiting to see how far my cringe threshold could take. I won’t spoil anything, but I was thrashing about like a sheep about to get sheared in a scene which involved an eye. I hate eyes and this scene is almost up there with Zombie Flesh Eaters.

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It’s just a series of gore scenes really and I have to say that the special effects are very good. The acting was also better than I was expecting, with the doctor being particularly menacing and convincing. It’s also pretty well-made for the most part, although parts did look very amateur. In the end though Grotesque is just a pointless exercise in shock. It ends up being so melodramatic and ridiculous though that it just becomes funny.

Grotesque is worth one watch if you’re curious and a hardened horror nut. Most people will know what their getting themselves into and at least there’s more entertainment value in this than seriously sick stuff like the Guinea Pig and Slaughtered Vomit Dolls films. This one does have a dark sense of humour but the plot is non-existent and the characters are un-investable. The amount of gore and depravity is quite shocking at times but even still it’s almost instantly forgettable as soon as the credits roll.

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Megan Is Missing (2011)

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Director: Michael Goi

Stars: Amber Perkins, Rachel Quinn, Dean Waite

Megan isn’t the only thing that’s missing

Every self-respecting weird person who’s looking to get disturbed has heard of Megan Is Missing. The only reason I sought out the film is because I’d read how so many people find it horrendously disturbing. If you hop on to the IMDb message boards (always a good place to find opinions by level-headed people) then you’ll find a lot of posts by self-confessed horror movie addicts saying how they found the last twenty minutes of Megan Is Missing to be the most haunting thing they’ve ever seen in a horror film which is quite a big statement! I’m also one of those people who don’t really find many films disturbing. The Human Centipede 2 didn’t particularly bother me and I managed to watch Salo alone in the dark pretty comfortably (ish) so I’m always on the lookout for films that might actually give me sleepless nights.

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Megan Is Missing is atrocious. Let’s get that out the way first, it is absolutely embarrassingly bad. As soon as it started my eyes widened in terror at the beyond horrendous acting from the two main characters in the film, Megan and Amy. Both of them can’t act for a toffee apple and that’s being kind about them! Megan’s wooden bedpost is probably the best actor in the whole film and steals the show. Although, let’s face it there really isn’t much of a show to steal. It presents itself as a true story, but this is impossible to take seriously thanks to the stilted acting and forced chemistry between Megan and Amy.

As soon as the film starts we’re treated to dialogue from Amy which goes something like, “We’re filming on my expensive new video camera, Daddy loves me.” To which Megan replies, “My Daddy loves me too, slut” and we get a painfully wooden, “Bitch!” Back from Amy. Such Shakespearean dialogue continues throughout the film and it’s probably supposed to sound like natural 14 year-old girl banter, but the actors deliver their lines like their reading them from the cameraman holding up a cardboard sign. It’s just a total cringe-fest and the characters couldn’t get any more stereotypical or two dimensional. We’ve got Megan the confident, popular school bike and Amy the unpopular, angelic prude.

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There is an attempt to build up characters but it just ends up resulting in ridiculous clichés. At one point I even predicted in my head exactly what Megan was going to say as she breaks down awkwardly on camera about her dysfunctional upbringing. We also get treated to a needlessly long monologue from Megan about her first sexual experience which just ends up sounding like dialogue from a porn film. I also liked the director’s idea of a teen house party complete with torch lights and girls randomly jumping up and down going “woo!”

It’s a found footage film so it’s essential for it to have a realistic atmosphere, which it fails at miserably. It does make for unintentionally hilarious viewing though. It’s about a girl talking to a randomer over the Internet and ending up missing (surprise, surprise) but the film is extremely heavy-handed with these themes. It almost feels like a student film at times, especially when they try to create news footage. I actually laughed out loud at one point where they do a re-construction of the kidnapping. I also loved the part where the newsreader teases the next story about a cocker spaniel driving a car through a shop window! I’m not kidding, the filmmakers should’ve made a film based on that idea.

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Basically, the first hour of Megan Is Missing is an hilarious example of how not to make a film. But then the next 20 minutes arrive and everything changes. It’s difficult to talk about the last 20 minutes without giving away big plot twists, but I can say that it did actually disturb me. The acting gets a little more convincing (big stress on ‘little’) and the film becomes relentlessly terrifying. The unintentional funniness disappears and we’re presented with a genuinely chilling atmosphere of horror and a sobering sense of realism. Some people say that it’s like some sort of indulgent fetish thing for the director but I think it’s actually done in a way that’s not too exploitative or gratuitous. It’s actually a well-made bit of harrowing horror.

So, Megan Is Missing is a film of two halves and both halves are horrendous for different reasons. The first three quarters have no redeeming qualities, whereas the last quarter has the power to genuinely shock and unsettle without over-stepping the mark or trying to be nasty for the sake of it. It’s a difficult film to recommend, but if you know what you’re getting in to and are a hardened horror fan then it’s definitely worth one watch. Most of it is total rubbish but in the end it presented some truly frightening ideas which did haunt me and will probably continue to haunt me for some time. So that has got to be worth something, hasn’t it?

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The Conjuring 2 (2016)

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Director: James Wan

Stars: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Frances O Connor, Madison Wolfe

Cor, blimey guvner! A sequel actually worth your sixpence piece

I remember being pretty disappointed when The Conjuring first came out. The Internet was building it up to be one of the scariest films ever made and I was getting really excited to be properly scared. I don’t usually get scared in films, but James Wan’s very own Insidious did manage to conjure up (pardon the pun) some genuinely terrifying imagery so I had every right to expect the same from The Conjuring but the film didn’t scare me at all. It wasn’t until I re-watched it recently that I realised that whilst it isn’t a scary film to me, I can appreciate it for being a very well-made horror film. If you take the hype away from it, there’s a lot to love.

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So when The Conjuring 2 reviews came out and were citing similar hype, I tried to put aside the claims of it being even better than the first film and went in with an open mind, almost expecting it to be a disappointment, but it wasn’t. The Conjuring 2 is one of those very rare sequels (even rarer in the horror genre) which manages to better the first. It still has its problems and I still don’t think it’s scary or that it outdoes Insidious, but it is a fine example of haunted house horror which can stand proudly on its own.

You’d be forgiven for thinking that it’s simply more of the same when the film starts as it’s almost identical to the first film. A seemingly unrelated case opens the film and the title flashes up on the screen along with some jargon about the film being true and this case is yet again the scariest The Warrens’ have ever encountered blah blah blah. It’s basic scare tactics that might work for horror virgins but us aficionados will just be rolling our eyes. To be fair, the opening scene is actually very well directed and gives you some idea of the film’s overall quality.

We’re soon plunged into 1970’s England and we’re given constant reminders of this which is something that irritated me. Maybe it’s because I’m English myself but the stereotypes were often quite overwhelming, although amusing. Every car in the driveway is a Mini Cooper, The Queen often pops up on the telly and everyone has a seriously strong cockney accent. I know that it’s set in London but even so it sounds like most of the actors have moulded their accents on Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. I also found Frances O Connor a little wooden and unconvincing at times as well as a few of the kids.

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Overall the acting is terrific though. I was particularly impressed with Madison Wolfe as Margaret, the main girl, who gave off Linda Blair vibes at times. The role asks a lot of such a young actress but she tackles it head on and it’s pretty extraordinary to watch. Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson are also as excellent as ever as our favourite paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren. I really liked how the film focused so much on their relationship so that it became the emotional core of the film. Similarly, Wan takes his time to carefully build the characters in England so that we become invested in them and actually care about what’s going to happen to them. It’s such a rarity these days to find a horror film with characters you feel involved with and this is the main aspect which makes The Conjuring 2 so strong and compelling.

The other great thing about the film is its atmosphere. James Wan clearly has a deep love for the horror genre and The Conjuring 2 is a labour of this love. The whole film is deliciously gothic and over-the-top, it’s a horror fan’s dream come true. There are a lot of spooky scenes crammed into the film and whilst they didn’t particularly scare me, you can’t help but appreciate the stylishness and effectiveness of them. James Wan really is a master behind the camera and knows how to create genuine tension. Like the first film, a lot of scenes are filmed skilfully in one fluid take and it often becomes very intense, especially combined with the striking loud score and sound design.

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Even the typical horror clichés like possession and creaky doors are done in such an effective way that you don’t care that you’ve seen it a hundred times before. With a running time of over two hours, I was still left feeling eager for more. The Conjuring 2 creates a gorgeous world of horror and allows you to sink within it. It will leave horror fans consistently grinning from ear to ear. The demon/ghost designs in this one are also much more creative than the first film. The nun character (played by the same lady who acted as the iconic bum in Mulholland Dr) was memorably creepy and a bizarre character known as the crooked man is weirdly delightful, although some might find him a jarringly out of place.

If you’re a fan of the horror genre then I can’t really see any reason for disliking The Conjuring 2, and if you’re not a horror fan then what are you bloody doing watching a horror film? Recent films like The Witch, It Follows and The Babadook may be better but that doesn’t make The Conjuring 2 obsolete. It’s a beautifully crafted piece of supernatural horror which delivers atmosphere and suspense in spades. Some of it does feel a little contrived towards the end but the finale’s so excitingly pulse-pounding and intense that you’re unlikely to care. It makes sure that the audience actually care about the people on screen so it’s never dull for one moment. A third film will definitely be on the cards and if it carries on being as solid as this one then we might be looking at the best supernatural horror franchise since… Well, ever.

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Green Room (2016)

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Director: Jeremy Saulnier

Stars: Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots, Alia Shawkat

Didn’t leave me green with envy

Don’t you hate it when you get yourself hyped up for a film and it lets you down? Green Room has everything I love in a film: A fight for survival, an intense situation and  murderous psychopaths. Horror fans and critics were building it up with stories about people walking out the cinema vomiting and calling it one of the most intense films ever, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Don’t get me wrong Green Room is a good film but it’s no where near as amazing as people are making it out to be. As an avid fan of home invasion and survive the night kind of horror, I think there are much better examples of this kind of film out there and whilst Green Room is a solid thriller it really doesn’t bring anything new to the table.

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My biggest gripe is how forgettable the characters are. Likable characters and character development are essential for slasher films like this. If you like the characters then chances are that you’ll be invested in the film. However, I didn’t really care about any of these characters and they all felt pretty lifeless and flat. Even the potentially fascinating neo-Nazi villains were wasted, with no characters really being explored fully. Green Room set itself up for a Eden Lake standard character-driven ride, but failed to deliver its full potential.

Another thing that irritated me was the acting. Everyone seemed to be acting very odd with lines being mumbled to a barely audible level and no one really being that bothered about murderous Nazis being outside the door. I don’t think this is the fault of the actors though, I get the feeling that this is the style of acting the director was going for but for me it didn’t work. Even Patrick Stewart sleep-walked his way through the film failing to be the menacing kingpin he could’ve been. I don’t think anyone’s going to be winning any awards here.

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This all makes it sound like I hated the film, but I did actually like a lot of it. I liked the slow build-up of the group ending up in the scary fascist bar and how situations slowly and realistically built up to a life or death situation. When the crazy violence does begin, the film never becomes boring despite being set in one location, although it’s still never as intense as it could’ve been. It is very thought-provoking though and leaves you wondering about what you’d do in their situation. I also loved the dark grungy atmosphere which really added to the hellish situation the group are in.

There are some brilliantly tense scenes, especially towards the end with a couple of nail-biting showdowns which are really well done but I was expecting more. The way it was hyped, I thought it was going to be the same level of intensity as Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury’s French horror, Inside! However, some of the film is poorly directed with low lighting, frantic camerawork and fast editing so it’s often difficult to make out what’s going on which takes you out of the film and makes it uninvolving. At some points I found it hard to tell which characters’ had died. I also don’t quite understand why people are vomiting from the violence. Whilst there are some nasty moments I never found it overly gory, but then again I am very desensitized now.

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I know it sounds like I hated every minute but if you take away the hype it is a good little thriller and I just want to warn over-excited people (like I was) that it isn’t the ground-breaking horror film they think it’s going to be. Films like You’re Next and the recent 10 Cloverfield Lane are more intense and better made than this one.

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The Witch (2016)

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Director: Robert Eggers

Stars: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie

A future horror classic

This ain’t no Hocus Pocus kids! Witches aren’t usually the first port of call when coming up with horror film ideas. They work well with family film’s like Nicholas Roeg’s surreal adaptation of Roald Dhal’s The Witches but can cackling old women with pointy hats and broomsticks scare grown adults? After seeing Robert Egger’s striking debut, the answer would seem to be a resounding yes. The Witch is the best horror film since Kill List and is sure to become a future horror classic. I like to think of myself as a hardened horror movie nut but The Witch did actually manage to scare me, more so than the recent It Follows and The Babadook.

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It’s a fairytale for adults and Robert Egger goes down alleys as dark as a film can get. Within the first five or ten minutes, I could tell that I’d be in for a stunning ride as we’re treated to some seriously nightmarish imagery involving a naked old woman smothering herself in the blood of a baby, accompanied by a screeching score which is sure to give you the shivers. Terrifying sequences like this appear sporadically through the film so it never feels overdone, it just adds to the mounting tension in each scene until it explodes into the most wonderfully indulgent finale.

A lot of films set in medieval times can be a bit trying. A Field in England and Black Death both felt like the setting let the film down by getting bogged down in confusing olde worlde Shakespearean-esque language. However, The Witch is never anything more than compelling throughout. The sole focus of the film is the family and all the parts are acted beautifully by the relatively unknown cast. The audience becomes incredibly involved and invested in the characters so you care about what’s going to happen to them. There’s a sense of dread in every scene but you’re never quite sure about what’s going to happen next which makes for unpredictable and absorbing viewing.

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I can’t talk about The Witch without mentioning just how gorgeous the film looks. You could pretty much take any shot and hang it up for display in a gallery because it’s just beautiful to look at. The eerie shots of the deep wood reminded me of Lars Von Trier’s equally unsettling, Antichrist, however The Witch has a more fantastical quality to the images which adds to the Brothers Grimm fairytale kind of vibe. There isn’t a second in the film’s tight 90 minute running time where a shot doesn’t ooze atmosphere. It’s so refreshing to get a horror film which doesn’t rely on a few seconds of gore to shock the audience, but actually takes it time to conjure up genuinely frightening images. There’s stuff in this film which won’t leave my head for a long time after viewing it.

Equally as atmospheric as the imagery is the sound. I can’t think of a more striking score or sound design since The Shining and it helps a lot to generate such an unsettling atmosphere. The exceedingly creepy dissonant violins and loud chants build scenes up to a shattering intensity where I found myself holding my breath. In fact, the whole film has such a strange and unnerving quality to it. It feels like you’re watching something you shouldn’t. It’s no wonder that the film’s even been endorsed by the Satanic Temple itself with the Temple’s spokesperson calling it “a trans-formative Satanic experience.”

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The Witch has to be my favourite film of the year and one of my favourite horror films full stop. I found it absolutely captivating and full of tension from beginning to end. It’s pretty much as perfect as horror can get and exudes the quality of a classic chiller from the 60’s. Robert Eggers is definitely going to be a director to look out for in the future. He’s proven to critics that the horror genre is alive and well and can still genuinely scare the hell out of people. The Witch is a sensational experience for the eyes and ears, it’s cinema at its finest and is a masterpiece.

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